Friday, October 14, 2005

Exotic pets, etc.

Here's a few things, whether they make sense or not...

-- I want a monkey that I can train to do my bidding. He will cook, clean, fix food and never fling poo at me. His name will be Henry--Henry the Monkey--and he will be awesome. You mess with me, you mess with Henry. He'll kick your ass.

-- This country has an unnatural desire to find a scapegoat for every situation. Do we really need to blame someone in every situation? Sometimes stuff just goes wrong and there's nothing anybody can do about it. However, the homeplate umpire in Tuesday's White Sox-Angels game deserves every bit of blame he gets. I realize the game moves very fast on the field, and he had to listen for if the ball hit the ground or the mit, which is nearly impossible with 41,000 people screaming, but he gets paid to make the right call. He blew it.

-- Speaking of scapegoats, two years ago today was the Steve Bartman game. Poor Steve. It's not his fault the Cubs are forever cursed to pain and losing. He just happened to become a part of the curse.

-- I am not going to write about Ron Artest again after this post. I don't care if he blows up again, I'm not writing about him. That's it. Yes, I wish he were traded. Yes, I think he will cause trouble again. Yes, I feel sorry for him because I see him as someone who needs help, but is too reluctant/stubborn to seek it. It's going to really come back to get him someday whether it is on the basketball court or in his private life.

-- If you're desperate for even more of my crappy writings, go to It was my blog from May 2003 to September 2004. In some places, the tone is truly cringe-inducing. It seems to go back-and-forth between 14-year old girl and angry Socialist. What confuses me most about it are all the exclamation points. I hate exclamation points when used where a period should go. Plus, the fact that I wrote about watching and actually enjoying Jimmy Kimmel's show really shows my problems. That show annoys me. I also sound a little too happy considering, in retrospect, I was pissed off for one reason or another for a lot of those 16 months. Defense mechanism, I suppose. I think all of the above are reasons why I abandoned it, despite the pleadings of others (Hi, Pulliam!).

-- And then there's my six month flirtation with Live Journal, although I may add a post to it every couple months. Or who could forget my one post on a Xanga site? Although, my "expertise" on the sidebar is still spot on.

-- Did dinosaurs really exist, or were they faked by the feds like the moon landing? Ask Carl Everett. And yeah, I know the story is five years old. I just like it because Carl Everett is a little crazy.

-- Look! It's a cat with two tongues!

-- Why is it 4:42 in the morning?


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