Thursday, November 17, 2005

Mmmmmm...Drano...arrrrrccccgggghhh

Thanks to the terrible Pepto Bismol commercial, this is now stuck in my head...

"Nausea, heartburn, upset stomach, indigestion, diarrhea, YAY! Pepto Bismol!"

Make it stop. It's such a bad commercial, too. Who writes the script for a commercial that has a conga line of people dancing around, grabbing whatever parts of their body are bothering them? Do they really have to grope their butts when it gets to that part of the song? Do we really need that mental image?

I've never tasted Pepto Bismol. When I was little, I always wanted to because it looks like bubble gum. There were a lot of things I wanted to eat or drink that now don't sound so smart. I did try all, except for the ones that probably would have killed me.

Examples included:

1) A stick of butter because I thought it would taste like ice cream. It didn't taste like ice cream.
2) Antifreeze because it looked like blue Kool Aid. It's also probably just as deadly.
3) Drano because I don't know why. I asked my mom if I could drink some, and I don't remember what happened after that. I do know I never had the desire to drink it again.
4) Raw egg yolk because it looked good. I did taste that, and it was pretty disgusting.
5) A bag of sugar because every kid wants to eat a bag of sugar. Weeeeeeeee!
6) A raw onion. It is probably why I hate onions now.
7) Gasoline because I liked the way it smelled.
8) Motor oil because it looked like really thick chocolate milk.
9) A bar of soap, which I did try, and it didn't taste as bad as you might think. Mountain fresh can be pretty good. However, I don't eat soap.
10) Rubber cement because that was some crazy looking stuff that had a chance to taste good, but I refrained.

Ten is good. I'm just glad I survived my childhood with all these temptations. I think the song is out of my head now.

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