Thursday, November 03, 2005

RIP, Oinky

Say hello to Oinky the Collegian Pig.

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I caught Oinky at a basketball game in 2002 or 2003. It was one of those promotions where they throw stuff in the crowd, and Oinky was my prize. I liked Oinky. Round, as he was, he always made some people laugh. Oinky did not make Yaw Anokwa laugh. Yaw hated Oinky. Every once in awhile, I would walk over to Dawgnet from the Collegian with Oinky. It was a force of habit, and (at first) I wasn't trying to get on anyone's nerves. However, once I saw how much Yaw disliked my pig, I decided to force the issue a little. OK, if my memory is correct, I forced it a lot. Yaw warned me that if I brought the pig around him one more time, Oinky would be stabbed or worse.

It was always one more time, so I didn't really take the threat too seriously, although he did get his hands on Oinky a couple times. And yeah, at one point, Yaw held his gigantic pocket knife to my pig's throat and cut him. Unfortunately, I never learned my lesson and I brought Oinky around several more times. Finally, Yaw kidnapped him when I wasn't in the Collegian office and made ransom photos such as this that he would leave at my computer. This went on for quite awhile, and I'm still surprised that Yaw was so interested in it. He really did hate that pig. Eventually, I got Oinky back, but lost him to Melissa Buford who wanted to borrow Oinky. The borrowing has lasted about two and a half years, and she has since gotten married and is now Melissa Gibson, so I doubt I will ever see Oinky again. So long, old pal.

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Also, ignore the guy in the foreground because he has nothing to do with the picture, but the background is Vermont.

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Maybe it was just that the weather was kind of gray and the tree-covered mountains were so green, but it is one of my favorite states. I liked all the states up there in New England. I'd like to live up there sometime. I wonder what it looks like now. Probably a painting. I really try not to, but ever since the two east coast vacations, I find myself cursing the midwest because it doesn't have so much of what I liked there. They have mountains and progressive thinking people (for the most part). We have corn fields and the extreme right wing (for the some part). They have oceans. We have, well, no oceans. We used to be able to claim that our people were nicer, but I doubt that anymore. We're not as nice as we claim we used to be, although, I doubt we ever were nice considering the history of some of the midwest states in terms of race. I like the midwest, and I'll always be a midwesterner, but some of the pictures I took are making me think.

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I wonder what it would be like to be a mob boss. I guess I'd need a consigliere to advise me and some goons to do my dirty work. I'm not real big on the whole violence thing, but perhaps it wouldn't be such a problem if it were based on loyalty because I like loyalty. Loyalty is cool. Guns, not so much, but I wouldn't be the one handling the guns. I'd also need a completely legitimate front for the operation. I'm not real sure what I'm writing about, but it sounds good enough.

3 Comments:

Blogger Daniel said...

Um, Bradley, have you seen those other photos of you floating around out there on the Internet? I didn't realize you were that progressive...

10:32 AM  
Blogger Lucas Sayre said...

Yeah, I think I remember seeing one of those too...

10:51 AM  
Blogger Daniel Bradley said...

IT WAS A PHASE!!!!

OK. Most phases don't include, well...uh...you know, but...(throws a rock and runs away).

11:25 AM  

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