Sunday, December 11, 2005

Snake, snake! It's a snake!

This might be old news, but it's new to me. So, you take a movie with the general plot being an assassin who wants to kill a witness in protective custody by releasing a bunch of poisonous snakes on an plane flight over the Pacific Ocean. OK. That's one of the greatest plot lines ever. No bombs. No guns. No crazed militants. But snakes. And then that movie needs a name. What is chosen?

Snakes On A Plane.

Genius. Snakes On A Plane was the original working title, but it was later changed to Pacific Air Fight 121. And then back to Snakes On A Plane. I don't know why it was ever changed. It's the most amazing movie title in the history of movie titles. People aren't going to remember Pacific Air Flight 121. Snakes On A Plane, yes. It is perfect. Straightforward to a fault. B-movieish, too. You're already ripped into the movie just by the title. So there are snakes on the plane. Now I want to know how they're going to fight the snakes on the plane and what they're going to do to get the snakes off the plane.

And when you read it, it's not Snakes On A Plane. Rather, it's AHHHH! SNAKES ON A PLANE!!! Even better is that Snakes On A Plane stars Samuel L. Jackson. So, now, it's read as, AHHHHH! THERE ARE MUTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES ON THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' PLANE, AND THERE AIN'T A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!

And why did Samuel L. Jackson take the role? Because of the name of the movie.

"We're totally changing that back. That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title."

The possibilities for future sequels are endless, too.
Snakes On A Plane 2: Lions On A Bus.
Snakes On A Plane 3: Groundhogs On A Train.
Snakes On A Plane 4: Yaks On A Boat.
Snakes On A Plane 5: Squirrel Monkeys On A Bicycle.
Snakes On A Plane 6: Beetles In A Beetle. (DVD release only.)

I'll stop there, but you get what I'm saying.

This what I'm looking for in a movie. Complete, utter nonsense. Life is just a bunch of nonsense. Too often, movies try to put it all together for us. Well, I don't want it to be handed to me. I like nonsense. I want nonsense. Snakes On A Plane is going to give me nonsense. The theatre release date is Aug. 18, 2006. I can't wait.


Blogger Lucas Sayre said...

What are "monkies"?

6:00 PM  
Blogger Daniel Bradley said...

What's that, Lucas?

1:28 AM  
Blogger Marcy said...

That makes me laugh. I'd see "Snakes on a Plane." On VHS.

This is more or less a random comment so that you know I exist. :)

3:26 AM  
Blogger Daniel Bradley said...

No, Snakes On A Plane is going to be the greatest movie ever made. And welcome to the commenting section, Marcy. Please bear with Lucas here who pointed out the only spelling mistake I've ever made since I started this thing. He and Pulliam will say stuff about my mom or anyone's mom all day long.

4:34 AM  
Blogger Lucas Sayre said...

Haha, I wouldn't ordinarily point out a spelling error, especially not with a comment, but I was in a quirky mood and I thought it was funny.

12:38 PM  

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