Why do I write?
When I'm not writing, I'm thinking about writing. A couple days ago, I was in the car when I started thinking how weird it is to type every letter individually. In our brains, we think of words as a whole. However, when we're writing, our brains have to know each letter and send signals to the fingers on what to do next. It goes pretty quickly. I like the brain.
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In honor of Peyton Manning's idiotic comment where he placed blame on his offensive line, ("I'm trying to be a good teammate here. Let's just say we had some problems with protection.") here are some similar idiotic comments if they took place in other professions or livelihoods.
-- "I'm trying to be a good journalist here. Let's just say we have some problems with copy editing." (KC Star columnist Jason Whitlock's, not mine.)
-- "I'm trying to be a good husband here. Let's just say my wife had some problems with eating."
-- "I'm trying to be a good rocket scientist here. Let's just say the space ships had some problems with exploding."
-- "I'm trying to be a good bowler here. Let's just say we had some problems with pins not falling."
-- "I'm trying to be a good prostitute here. Let's just say we had some problems with impotent people."
-- "I'm trying to be a good minister here. Let's just say we had some problems with God not listening."
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Tonight's Lenny Bruce quote...
"I won't say our's was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like, 'What I'm Going To Be If I Grow Up.'"
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Five minute later update:
I just turned the TV on and passed by the hell that is the Home Shopping Network. Seriously, these things have to be staged. It can't be real. Are there really people who call in like that? Considering certain members of the Bradley clan have been known to record the channel, unfortunately, my hypothesis says yes.
But on a certain level, I would really like to call right now and engage Suzie Orman in a discussion on world affairs. Or cartoons.
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20 minute later update:
I want to take a job at McDonald's or Burger King for a week or two just to see what I missed. I'd also like to study and categorize the regular customers who come in everyday. It would give me something to write about.