Sunday, February 05, 2006

The Church of Cat

One of my cats is either a Mormon or a Jehovah's Witness. I haven't decided which yet. Determing a religion for your cat is difficult, but I know it's one of the door-to-door prosteletizing ones. Why is this? Because I'm sitting here trying to relax, but Curley is over there knocking at the basement door. Come on, cat. Please just go to sleep. I have a headache, and your incessant meowing and knocking isn't going to convert me.

My other cat is Catholic. Yeah, definitely Catholic. But my first cat was a far right wing Christian fundamentalist. She was mean and spiteful.

Me? Hail Zeus!

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As the razor companies continue to add blades (Gillette came out with one with five blades and one extra, for some reason, on the back), there will surely be a day when the entire razor covers half of your face, and with two swipes, all done. Of course, with that many blades, you are likely to have lost your face along with the stubble.

Whatever happened to the days of straight razors? Of course with those you were more likely to sever your head while shaving your throat. Either way, I'll stick with my Mach 3. It works fine, and the chopping is minimal.

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With the news last week that Reebok and adidas have joined forces against Nike, it is time to realize that there are no winners in the war over footware. The shoe companies and the prices they charge are inherently evil. It is as if Nazi Germany had declared war on Hell. No one can possibly come out alive.

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