Tuesday, February 21, 2006

If only it were this easy

I've hit my breaking point with the Bush Administration. The unnecessary wars, the spying, the torture, the lies...I can't take it anymore. So you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call Keller & Keller. Sure, it's not a personal injury case, but you can bet it would scare them all into resigning.

Bush: Heh, heh, heh, just throw this Mr. Bradley into Gitmo and tell the boys they can do anything they want to him. He's not going to be a problem anymore.
Alberto Gonzales: Yes, well, sir, it's not that easy.
Bush: Whatayou mean it's not that easy? So what? He's in the palms of our hands. We can do anything we want, no questions asked. Who's his lawyer?
Gonzales: It's...Keller & Keller.
(Cue loud instrumental boom, accompanied by Bush spitting his coffee all over the table and peeing his pants.)
Bush: Wha...wha...whaterwe gonna do?
Gonzales: I think we better quit, Mr. President.
Bush: Good idea.
Enter second-rate actor Robert Vaughn as the Keller & Keller strongman: Call the law offices of Keller & Keller and tell abusive government despots you...mean...business. Dial 1-800-2-KELLER right now!

2 Comments:

Blogger n said...

daniel bradley, how did you get so funny? you should have your own column somewhere. dont forget about me when you become hugely famous.

11:35 PM  
Blogger Daniel Bradley said...

Don't worry. I won't. You can be my agent, which means, 20 percent of every check. Just don't book me for Leno.

4:03 AM  

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