Tuesday, February 14, 2006

They let this guy have a gun?

Dick Cheney once shot me, too. I was walking through Circle Center when all of a sudden, streaking out of the women's clothing section at Nordstrom's, came the vice-president shrieking like a screaming banchee. I turned to run, but it was too late. He shot me in the face. You'd think a guy who has had roughly 4,000 heart attacks wouldn't have the speed and agility Cheney has, but he does. Dick Cheney is really quite fast. As I lay on the ground, blood pouring out of my face, Cheney started talking about how he was practicing for both the 400-meter dash and the shotgun competition in the 2008 Olympics. Then he thanked me for my help and ran after some other guy with the purpose of shooting him. I wish him the best of luck, and I wish my wounds would heal.


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