Friday, March 24, 2006

This and that

First off, I would like to share with you people one of the strangest non-Onion or satire story I've ever read. It's probably the strangest story I've ever linked to. The title of this story is: "Dedication Honors Nude Britney Spears Giving Birth." Basically, it is a statue of a naked Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug from a position that I doubt many people give birth in, and this is all disregarding the fact she had a C-section. The story reads...

"Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston," believed Pro-Life's first monument to the 'act of giving birth,' is purportedly an idealized depiction of Britney in delivery. Natural aspects of Spears' pregnancy, like lactiferous breasts and protruding naval, compliment a posterior view that depicts widened hips for birthing and reveals the crowning of baby Sean's head.

The monument also acknowledges the pop-diva's pin-up past by showing Spears seductively posed on all fours atop a bearskin rug with back arched, pelvis thrust upward, as she clutches the bear's ears with 'water-retentive' hands.

I honestly don't know what else to say. However, if you have a neighbor you really don't like, I would suggest purchasing this statue and placing in a prominent location on your lawn.

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While eating lunch today, I watched a documentary about Evel Kneival on The History Channel. My three favorite parts were 1) when he said something to the effect of, "I'm not a hero. I'm a legend." and then they defined what a legend is. 2) When Evel talked about how he saved the toy business. 3) When Evel was describing how when a guy named Sheldon Saltman wrote a negative book about him, he went to Hollywood, asked for Saltman, waited outside for him and beat him with a baseball bat. He didn't even see anything wrong with it. He thought he was doing the guy a favor.

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Lately, I've tried to figure out what can get a person through daily life with the realities and supposed realities that surround us. The war in Iraq? It's a civil war, a quagmire of the highest degree and it's never going to end. Terrorists? They're going to get us, or they might not. The bird flu? We're all gonna die. The deficit? Nine trillion dollars, and I would like to apologize to my grandchildren and their grandchildren. The Bush Administration? It's way, way, way, way too long until Jan. 20, 2009.

Somehow, we all find a way to get through the day without losing our collective minds. How we do so is what I don't understand. I guess if my grandparents' generation could get through the Depression and then World War II, we can get through this, but at least there was leadership in place in the 30s and 40s to give people some degree of hope that times would be better. At a time when we need a Roosevelt or a Lincoln, we're stuck with a bastardized version of James Buchanan. Look up Buchanan, and you'll see what I mean. One guy didn't really try to stop a civil war and the other started one with his actions.

And that's enough of that.


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